#this is not discourse btw just a thought that popped into my head

[mistigrisunshine]

yes spike is pathetic but he’s also really fucking cool. yes both at the same time. hope that helps

[visionaryparacosmos]

VP Reads Psycholonials - Chapter 1 & Interlude 1

My instinct here is to watch for numbers that might be thematically important, but I suspect that the numerology stuff might just be a HS thing. It's been a HOT minute since I read PS, but I don't remember any numerology in it. That isn't keeping me from having a running list of numbers that pop up.

Z talking about having a non-conventional philosophy about family is incredibly resonant with me. I wonder if this story is going to involve a found family narrative or if it's going to flip that on it's head somehow. I'm not sure what to expect, but family seems to be a theme this story wants to cover, since Abby and Z spend a while talking about family. I could be wrong though. Since this is only chapter 1, we're still just learning stuff about the characters. Which BTW, Hussie has character creation down pat. I wanna see them teach a class on it. I genuinely think she's that good at it. I also really like how he strings words together, it's nice.

I'm intrigued by Z's past with social media and cancelling. I can perfectly imagine like ten types of discourse Z could've gotten cancelled over on Tumblr alone, but I'm not familiar enough with the Instagram sphere to know if it translates. I almost hope it stays ambiguous as to what got them cancelled, it would make Z a lot more relatable for an already niche sort of experience.

Getting a look a Z's social media accounts left me with a variety of thoughts, starting with "whoa, pronouns!" and ending with "oh, she's definitely displaying some maladaptive coping mechanisms here." I did get a giggle out of Twitter being dated. I double checked and Twitter only became X last year. It feels like it was simultaneously so much more recent and also eons ago.

Z being a legitimate influencer is kind of throwing me for a loop. Being famous sounds awful to me. People don't treat you like a person. Even something as simple as modeling can make people treat you different. It's bonkers. All of this is just a job people! At least Z seems to be chill and understand that influencers are people too and that the capitalistic drive to always be productive is actually all sorts of detrimental to the human psyche.

I was really excited seeing the psychic damage meter and the spoon theory meter. I like this sort of gag in Hussie's other works. I do wonder if there will actually be any kind of substantial repercussions based on these or if they'll even pop up again. I hope so.

I also feel conflicted on Abby. First she comes off as a shitty friend, but then she comes around to following Z on main, but then she belittles the pandemic. All I can say is that I'm glad it was at least lampshaded. I also like the symetry between Z and Abby being at opposite ends of the alphabet. Abby is shaping up to be a huge foil for Z, which is exciting.

The dream sequence caught me off guard, but the creepy music (and the trailer with the scary shadow being) prepared me for the worst of it. I really like the sound direction of this so far. Later, when Abby and Z's call ended and the music also cut out, it was a really poignant and made the moment feel realer. Also, I swear that Abby must have a crush on Z. They way she's interacting with them is giving me major flashbacks to high school when I had a crush on my yet-to-be-out bisexual best friend. Also, shout out to Z for being the first heterosexual nonbinary person to capture my heart <3

Now time for my thoughts on that ending. There was a QUICK escalation that has me totally hooked. I caught the pre-clownery murder when I watched the trailers, which I'm pleased about. The entire sequence was kind of a rush- not unlike how Z was behaving earlier when they thirst-trapped poor, sweet, nice, well-adjusted Percy.

As for the interlude, I think this really puts Psycholonials in conversation with Deltarune. It's all about CHOICE, or rather the lack of it. But whereas Deltarune has different impact based on choices, it seems like there really will be no choices allowed in Psycholonials at all. Which I'm fine with. There's something about the whims of social media being out of your control that makes it really work well in my mind.

Overall! I'm excited for chapter 2! I need to see what happens next.

[bloodiedbeloveds]

Wait, you wrote BDTA?? Just wanna jump on the bandwagon that my-deer-friend started because I loved that verse <3 The whole series is bookmarked and it definitely left a profound impression. Especially the one written as an article by A. Hamilton, that one felt like such a masterpiece to read.

I remember trying to picture John's art, and the 'tumblr discourse' fic of the series (genius btw). I remember how I broke a little when that poster had seen the picture of John after the attempt and said "how small he looked" 😭 shit i'm shedding some tears rn, that line just gets to me for some reason, as if i can see him

Body horror fascinates me, especially as a trans man, so I seriously adore the concept of this world. This may sound a little nonsensical, but the way you write is evocative of paintbrush strokes on an impressionist painting to me.

I agree wholeheartedly with my-deer-friend; BDTA!John is precious and intriguing, and he pops into my head now and then, just wondering about what his life has been like before the story and what might be in his future.

hi oh my god we are so flattered. yeah that was us!!!

we have so many thoughts about we never really learn-- at one point we even had a whole bunch of lore for the ten deaths of acadia setter, despite the fact that its narrative purpose is exclusively to be Problematic. every tumblr discourse must pull in some very irrelevant dispute about a piece of media. there are so many tiny details in that fic that we think a lot of people overlook but We Know. we know they're there

the way people received this particular fic is interesting too, because without the context of the later work + stuff we haven't even written we can totally see how it reads like john's suicide was mostly about this internet cyberbullying stuff but oh, boy, it was not. it very much was not. after not a perfect son i think most people have figured it out but there was a while there where we were always internally like "oh you don't even know the half of it"

we're obsessed with body horror also-- for us it's not just being trans but also being autistic and plural and just all around weird. love monsters. love fucked up shit. also that's so very kind thank you!! verbal impressionists, that's us, i guess?

(his life before the story: sucked, but in various different ways. his future: no spoilers, because the urge to come back to this series is hitting us. we left the next fic (which is mostly about our unhinged polly headcanons) unfinished, but we're thinking of finally finishing it + going through the hell of putting all the html for it in properly.)

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Things I regret and things I wish I had done better in pushing Diversity in Books

Probably a bit self-aggrandizing... and I’m aware of that. And I’m aware most people won’t believe me, but I have documentation. (I also pushed diversity in Korean dramas a bit, too lol, but that’s much more subtle and harder to prove.) Short version: I helped pull a lot of the strings on the internet about the discussions of diversity and writing from about 2004 (November 2004)

Loose background:

I have always been more diverse than the people around me. And I’ve always felt disaffected from being able to understand my own diversity completely as an adoptee. Being Highly Intersectional, but often disconnected, also makes me super stubborn on representation over other people.

I am also from a line of advocates on all sides of my family.

And no, I’ve never been particularly good at being “nice”. Kind, yes. Nice, no. So people have always felt split about me from the time I was born, I suppose.

Disclaimer:

Some of this might be retconning a bit... just a bit. But unintentionally. All facts are true as I can document/remember them.

Introduction:

So, I’ve always had my eyes on writing diversity, but never quite felt qualified to write it when I was younger, and being adopted, I was raised by a white family. So most of my characters from extension of exposure, ended up white and were female and a few were gay, but being ace spec, and in the dark about it, I didn’t know how to write that. (Incidentally also a sucker fro Rom Coms.) But I’m quite stubborn and quite detailed when it comes to such things, so tried my best with what I had and did not cross.

Internet hit, and frankly, I spent the majority of it on Sailor Moon in the early years. Also arguing down Adoption lawyers from using triggering statements in their “ads” to adoptive parents on listserves, etc. (Adopted to a Jewish family and Korean, so top notch arguing skills is a must. [I joke, also insider’s joke])

Nanowrimo hit, and I learned that asexuality is a real thing, which was also a part of me, but they didn’t acknowledge gray-aces until much, much later. I was inquiring about it in November 2004 (Finally looked up the date)... (so AVEN lies their butts off about that because I remember the first aces out were sex repulsed, aro aces. Not a spot of gray out there.)

Since about 2005? Nanowrimo I started compiling lists of links to various information, since it started to repeat from the previous year. Every year until about 2008-ish... I compiled links for Nanowrimo for resources on how to write various groups. The fights all went in the same exact direction.

I also from about the beginning started compiling Banned Books list by category and every year posting that thread, which was also exceedingly popular. I did it to expose the stupid reasons that books are banned, which mostly were on diversity.

I also was the one that started the “Above Below” in writing forums form. (I took it from ASMR--A Sailor Moon Romance, who would play games like that and cross referenced it with my experience at Canisius College Summer Writing Camp and used the rules from there. I did it because Nanowrimo at the time didn’t have a critique section, so me and another person discussed it in PMs first, and then I started the thread in an “other” section. (I still have the rules from the *original* post on my computer, which have since gotten corrupted.) Nanowrimo also had word limits, so I had one for first page with a strict 250 word limit and eventually after Miss Snark, one for query letters (which I’m exceedingly good at. I won Miss Snark’s contest, but for a while thought I lost, until I saw the Nanowrimo boards to show I won. lol I’m sued to rejection.)

Also started compiling the Writing Survey questions in about Year 3 and ran it, gathered statistics, etc about Nanowrimo and the writing population.

People hated me. People liked me too... since I spent a ton of time helping people. The PoC threads, out of the diversity threads, were always the most contentious. (Also in other writing forums too... often populated by white Moderators who didn’t know why associating black people watermelon and porches was racist as anything... *cough* Critique Circle *cough*)

So... given that background...

What Did I Do wrong:

- Probably shouldn’t have bit at Trolls and asked people to move it along? (OK, I can’t resist the temptation still.)

- I started with thinking it was individualistic power, not systemic. I set this on the wrong course. We should have been challenging agents and editors as much as writers from the beginning. This is my bad, (though I was not alone.) I didn’t have enough study back then. I didn’t understand how systems worked.

- I probably shouldn’t have been thinking only about privileged people writing. I think that it should be own voices first, but that privileged people and outgroups should *also* be given a chance *after* a ton of research to also write people of color. Personally, it’s been a bit overcorrrected in places, but yeah, I think the idea that we should teach outgroups... no. They need to do the work, the research, be insecure, and pick up the slack.

- I probably should have said no more often about diversity. No, you can’t write that. (But others should also have said no, but sometimes you’re hungry for representation.) Also my line of “Real People > Fiction” would have been greatly helpful back then.

- I did argue that YA was where most books are banned and most trends *start* in YA books, but the part that was also missed was that I also said that it spreads *from* YA, not that it should *stop* solely at YA. BTW, you do not have to write only YA as an author... It’s a demographic, not a genre. A lot of kids also read adult books. I did as a 13 year old. (When the YA section was 4 shelves at best) I think I should have pushed more for it to get into the adult section, too, because without the tools to see what it’s like, how is the previous generation supposed to help kids as well? Adults are not hopeless.

- I also think I should have instituted better ways of discourse around diversity, but it’s not like anyone was cooperating with it. Argue with resources, reliable sources, back it with fact, not truthiness.

- I also think I should have argued that if you have NO ONE in your life of that diversity... HANDS OFF. Not the token friend, but someone who comes around *often* to you *house* you *regularly* talk with and interact with. Being more adamant about that might have helped. If you never read anything from that group and yet still want to write them HANDS OFF. If you think all _blank_ of that group are terrible people... also HANDS OFF. If your only interaction with the country and the people is through dramas and pop culture... HANDS OFF.

- I really needed the words Implicit Bias, not just Privilege. Also needed Privilege Qualifying too. White Tears also would have been useful. Stereotype Threat... OK... I needed more Social Justice vocabulary.

- I should have learned that everyone has privilege, but it’s how you use it that matters sooner... It took me a while to get there. And I wrote it out first... as far as I know, and spread it around.

- I also have smaller regrets like... the use of Caucasian... I pressed MTV Decoded for a video on it. Also on the history of “Submissive” Asian.

- Also wish I had written a better code of conduct on how to interact with people with Diversity so they don’t get mentally drained better.

- I think I should have argued better for Diversity within, not stereotypes outside looking in. (This is currently missing from a lot of the Diversity workshops on writing--the stories that don’t hit the bell curve neatly. Fi~~~x it.)

- I also think trying to force convert authors was wrong (and is still wrong). If they do, they do, instead.... I should have bolstered support from the System itself and from authors of that identity, without locking out privileged authors that wanted to try. Let the authors that try and flop, push back flounder so others can learn from them. I don’t abide by canceling before release UNLESS there is a very good reason they shouldn’t profit. You can cancel them by not buying their book.

What I Did Right:

- I did ask Writing Forums to institute a Diversity policy that was more specific like the writing conventions. (Still looking at you Nanowrimo, Critique Circle, Absolute Write and Wattpad.) AND to have administration at the very top of the forum that was not white OR at least very educated on those topics (Head of forums should get paid... unless they started it themselves). But to have boards to review problems with diversity discussion. (And I know it’s not for everyone and it’s exhausting, but power representation is something we need.) It’s not bad to ask those in power to be educated on the problem and not make weak excuses on why they can’t do it, and then ban people for challenging them on diversity. *cough* I’m STILL asking that all writing forums are specific on diversity and prejudices and ban all prejudiced swears because from the Nanowrimo survey shit, fuck, dick, ass... are *less* offensive than prejudiced swears. And people can self-censor and can look it up.

- I know I was late to ask for it, but yeah, asking Editors and Agents to be *educated* before making a call for diversity isn’t a bad thing. (Lots of studying to get here.) I know they can’t change their sexuality, skin color, disability status, etc. BUT being able to list books from what you are asking for and ones that are not all privileged-qualifying would show you know your stuff. A quick way, BTW, to get a hold of countries is to read Folklore... I know this from lots and lots of reading and studying foreign media. Story structures, deeper beliefs, etc, can often be found there, plus they are quick to read. I know I wasn’t the first on this... Lee and Low pressed for it a lot, but I tried to extend it.

- I asked for end to end diversity. Every single part of the bookstore should have diversity in it. I’ve been going to the bookstore at least once a year since I was 13, scanning how the market has shifted and changed. I know authors counsel that by the time you see it on the shelf the fad is gone... but that’s not what I was looking for. I was looking for diversity, for gaps that people hadn’t filled yet. I want the cookbook section to have worldwide cooking. I want the economics books to have PoC names in it--even if I might never write or buy one. Because mirrors are important. I know this. If women can spread to the entire bookstore without question, then so can all of the other authors and sections. I’m still frickin’ asking for this. I know how much it hurts writers to not be able to find non-fiction books on their own identity.

- I insisted on research as the best route to get there. Not write what you know, explore what you don’t know. (But a lot of writers are lazy about research... if you are going to write diversity that’s not your own, then no.) If you’re not willing to put a year’s worth of work into deprogramming, it’s not worth your time to even touch diversity topics.

- Insisted that Diversity people are not trends. (Though I wish I’d pressed this more). Again, conquer the ENTIRE bookstore so it’s not a question. It’s an answer. Books are there to answer things in my PoV.

- I spent a lot of time trying to learn perspectives and listen to people and dissenting within.

- I don’t regret challenging We Need Diverse books for being a-holes about rolling back on the dream of diverse books end to end by saying Diversity only for YA and challenging them to do better on adoption discussions with an adoptee at the helm who is defogged. If I’m unpopular for calling them out to do better, so be it. Again, conquer the entire bookstore. Don’t be afraid to dream big so the movement has a place to go, and don’t make a movement solely for your benefit.

And personally... I think book sellers should stop trying to cater to the 40% market of male readers who read only 1 book a year by insisting on more male characters... but that’s me.

But this is me... still wishing to have my dream come true that when I go to any part of the bookstore, go to a movie theater, listen to music, that I know diversity is represented there without anyone batting an eyelash at its existence. It’s not always going to benefit me. Sometimes it might actually hurt. But I’m OK with that if I can’t leverage my privileges always... I’ll cheer for it... because it means someone who was like me as a kid, and them as an adult can finally see themselves in the media they consume. And truly, this lifts my heart.

[roxannepolice]

Long asks anon again, here to offer my opinion on the current wank. Rey as a character is rather blatantly breaking sw story rules and nothing is going to get SFF fans hackles up like rule breakage. This is root of both the MarySue accusations and current wank. Rey has a tragic backstory thats doubling as the only failure she can call her own. But its a) damn near entirely offscreen and b) serves as convenient justification for why shes competent at near everything that comes up.

Reys instantly good at the force because of a convenient force download that to the best of my knowledge only occured in the noncanon KOTOR II and quite frankly cant blame most of the general audience for not getting because without prior knowledge or the novelizations why would they? She has darkness in her but as so far used and touched it consequence free and its almost entirely symbolically externalized on the Kylo (and in SW symbolism is Real in a way it isnt in other narratives) Shes strong in the force because Light rises to meet Dark but to quote the current crop of movies ‘thats not how the force works) or at least thats never how it worked before. Shes the first SW protagonist to go behind enemy lines and come out with both hands in the second movie. For ppl wondering how come Luke and Ani never get labeled MarySues, this is why, they got thier asses handed to them, Rey hasnt. There /is/ something /off/ in Reys story, and ppl pick up on it. if you can make a post (w/ over 1k notes!) about how great it is that a character meant to prop up 7hrs worth of movies has little to no character development to go through, somethings off. If multiple ppl can make posts about how its neat Rey can tap into the darkside (still characterized as evil in ST) consequence free (with some quite frankly stupid justifications, 'shes disciplined’ really? jedi lacked a lot of things thats not one of them) somethings off and again, if the only failure your main heroine has is /entirely retroactive something’s off/. If the story were getting with the is the story most ppl think we are, a 'female empowerment’ (i dont feel particularly empowered by being told I have an equal chance at being a deus ex machina but ok) than well, her story is over and theres no need for IX (hell it could have been over in TFA, most ppl assumed she had accepted her place as the future jedi in that one) and no need for reylo The ST was always gonna deconstruct all that came before it purely by virtue of being a sequel. The tragedy of anakin skywalker is now a farce, the happy ot ending now a tragedy, and the mythopoetic structure shot to shit in the name of serialization and perpetual warfare. this stand true for all the sequel characters including rey and ben. the only question is are we going to get anything out of it? I compare it to home renovation. You can knock out a wall and the walls gone, but new opportunities arise. With Benlo, I’m reasonably confident that there will be at least some attempt to take advantage of the new space. With rey and the resistance kids? not so much. it just feels like they knocked down a blue wall to rebuild it as pink one and at the point it just feels like a waste of time because ive seen this before. Ive seen pure cinnamon roll desert orphan reform jedi order If this was all youre going to do that the fuck was the point? which circles around to my problem with team good guy this go around and That Scene. JJ twisted the story into a pretzel to justify the winners of the last round being the underdogs again and then rian twisted so much further the storys head may as well be up its own ass. And then at the very end he shoots it all to shit and rushes to reassure us its all gonna be okay. He removes the entire point of the underdog trope /the tension that comes from the fact that they might lose/. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of that to begin with already but really? So theres no tension that Reys gonna win so her journey feels frictionless, and theres no question where shes gonna end up so full offense why give a shit? Thats where the whole 'can rey lose a fight?’ thing comes from. Ppl want conflict in her arc to justify its existence and give us a reason why this her story to begin with. if the only character going through growth for all three movies is ben, if the only characters whos fate is up in the air is ben, and if all the tension in the reylo relationship comes from ben, then why is this /reys story/? why not just make it about the character actually driving all the drama and thus, the story?   As a final thought, im going to add that having Kylo be aware and insecure that hes never gonna be as Iconic as Vader was a great story choice, regardless of where ends up. Current Rebels, on the other hand, seems to have not gotten the memo that they are never gonna be as iconic as Original Rebels, and the story itself seems to being trying to sell them to me as being better. Rey is Luke but better, Poe/Finn are Han wo the smuggler grit, and id be lying if i said it didnt piss me off.

&

Long asks anon to kick down ur door again, AND ANOTHER THING. SW is a lotta things. Subtle aint one of them, and St hasnt changed in that regard. If you have to debate it chances are either a) ur arguing counter to the text in which case mor power to you but not really helpful for predictions or intended meaning or b) /it aint there. A bunch of ppl didnt like anidala, but nobody doubted we were supposed to think they were in love by the end of AOTC, bunch of ppl didnt like poes arc, but no one doubts he fucked up by not listening to holdo was the intended take away. Which brings to rey and flaws or lack there of. Were told rey has flaws but she has yet to suffer any real consequences from them with the exception of The Damn Parentage Wank, which again, pulls the double duty of making her hyper competent at everything. Because rey has no consequences for her flaws, from a story function pov there aren’t any. If rey did have a flaw to overcome, we would all agree what it was

Now won’t you all just look at this beautiful, spot on rant which has been lagging in my askbox since the last time Rey’s flaws or lack thereof were the discourse’s focus (November, I believe?) and suddenly became a thing again, courtesy of Tweetgate. I think you really summed up the crux of this debate wonderfully, anon.

I particularly agree with the part about Rey not getting narratively punished for whatever flaws we’d like her to have (great point about returning from behind the enemy lines with both arms still in place), when SW don’t stay away from allowing characters to get “punished” even for otherwise applaudable features - vide Padmé, whose idealism is what Palps manipulates into gaining more power (this is why Padmé will never come off as a Mary Sue or too perfect, btw). But I’ll say even more - Rey doesn’t even get called out on her flaws, except for by Ben, who’s mostly dismissed as a baddie like Palpatine saying Luke was foolish to rely on his friends. Let’s just consider one thing - both Anakin and Luke get called out on their flaws by Yoda (Anakin repeatedly and by lots of other people for that matter) whereas with Rey, the same grumpy-yet-jolly senex pops up from the afterlife to further inform us what a great jedi material she is.

TBH, I have a very cynical theory as to why Rey is being pushed as the main character while it’s difficult to deny that it’s Kylo Ben who does all the plot heavy lifting. I’m pretty sure Ben’s arc was the first one DLF thought out (and the big question is, was it the only one they thought out) and only later on decided to make Rey the main character, which also involved much less spontaneous writing. Mind you, it’s not as if benepemption didn’t have a manufactured subtaste to it, but with Rey’s heroine’s journey stiff structure occasionally substitutes any in-world explanations of her actions (this is why I have to hope renperor has some narrative purpose rather than happening because lovers need to be separated and anti-hero needs to achieve what he wanted in 2nd act). I feel as if whatever potential her character had (and hopefully still has, pending IX) got smothered by layer upon layer of making her likable by everyone, which largely relied on negative characterization: she’s not helpless, she’s not too naive, not cynical, not too emotional, not too emotionless, not morally corruptible, not anything you’ve ever complained about regarding any SW character, not falling for the bad boy, not not not - and in the end it’s kinda difficult to say what Rey is like and while the goal of making her widely likable was achieved, it also made it almost impossible to view her as loveably flawed/annoying like the classic characters. And on top of all this is the matter of making her a nobody just like you!, as DLF appears to say with uncle Sam’s gesture (which also kinda assumes the existence of a Star Wars fan as some uniform entity? because if you identify with her, good for you, I just don’t understand why the franchise assumes I’ll identify with her by the grace of being a SW fan alone), because, as you excellently put it, the message here is that everyone can be chosen by God - which again, it’s not as if the saga ever contradicted this, so why the hell make a case of it? I can’t agree that it’s made into Rey’s flaw, though, imo her low birth only serves to further frame her as an oppressed virtue. And I definitely agree regarding too much of her growth being left off-screen, or before the story ever begins. The problem here isn’t even that it is left off-screen (it’s not as if we had huge insight into any of the pt or ot characters) but rather that her characterizations is left off-screen while being depicted as at least untypical (unique to put it bluntly) for her situation (same goes for Finn). A hopeful, kind person growing up on her on her own in slavery under a nicer name is a rarity and DLF makes a case for it being a rarity - and this sparks up curiosity in her past, as if market pandering to Re/sky wasn’t enough. So from this pov her un-reveal being frustrating isn’t just a case of not wanting to love her or her self only a potentially deeper psychological question getting answered with well, light.

I should add, Ben’s arc feels like the most spontaneous one (though Finn’s may yet be a masterpiece) and he’s the one to admit his fear of not living up to Vader’s legacy, because I think he’s the character serving as the creators’ vessel, more or less like Luke was Lucas’ avatar in ot. In his fear regarding Vader’s legacy one can feel Disney’s fear due to having bought popculture’s holy grail and not being entirely sure what to do with it. On this background, Rey (a literal scavenger of OT’s pieces) and rebels 2.0 repeatedly blessed by Leia come off as what DLF would want to be. And the result is that the character which was supposed to be Vader 2.0 proves the most original and surprising one, whereas “breaths of fresh air” come off as room aromatizers with “fresh” written on them.

And as far as the plot being bended into a pretzel and then disappearing up it’s own ass, well, a part of me is still hoping that taking virtually the same villains as before is a mythological-psychoanalitical metaphor of a nigredo repeating itself until the unconscious gets accepted by the conscious…. but, tbh, as the leaks flow this hope is withering.

[mattcullen]

Babe talk to me about charmer and nurseydex and what happens when they go on double dates!!!

BABE YES (also i love people calling me babe idk why but ty)

(the timeline that i’m working with btw is the same as my post about nursey and dex sharing a room and in that nursey and dex got together on nursey’s birthday in their junior year - this isn’t really relevant but CONTEXT)

okay so they go on double dates a lot

they just have a great time together guys

their first double date is kind of an accident tho

it’s the beginning of march so nursey and dex have been together for about 2-3 weeks

honestly it’s barely a date tbh

dex and nursey decided to sneak back to the rink after a late practice just to play some shinny/mess around/make out pressed up against the boards 

chowder and farmer kind of have a similar idea (tho less hockey more teaching farmer to skate without holding onto the boards/chris) and show up about half an hour after n&d

there’s kind of an awkward pause when c&f step on to the ice and everyone realises what’s happened 

this is only broken when farmer tries to skate forward and v dramatically windmills and lands on her ass

from there nursey and dex abandon the puck and their sticks and help chowder drag farmer around the rink

she eventually gets her balance and begins to pick up speed, causing an impromptu race that ends in them all collapsed in a heap giggling after chowder tries to swipe at nursey’s knees, who in turn grabs at farmer who is immediately in front of dex

it’s dark by the time they head back to the haus and they’re all leaning on each other, chowder and farmer holding hands and dex’s arm wrapped around nursey’s waist, it’s cute okay??

as they part ways in the hallway chowder states that this was the nicest double date he’s ever been on

and so starts the barrage of group dates

under the cut bc again i have no self control

farmer drags them all to karaoke one night

chowder and nursey are Excited

dex gets very drunk

dex has a surprisingly good voice for someone who has been mainlining margaritas since he arrived

they don’t talk about farmer and nursey’s painful 2am rendition of total eclipse of the heart

they don’t

they get pizza a lot together

pineapple discourse is banned after half an hour into their first pizza date

(nursey and chowder are for, farmer and dex are against)

(dex’s exact words were pineapple is a fruit and fruit is a sin and sin does not belong on pizza)

(dude i think u burst a vein in your head)

dance class

nursey thinks it would be fun, dex wants to be swallowed by the earth (but he’s also seen people dance the tango and he rly wants to dance the tango w nursey so he’s powering through)

nursey invites chowder and farmer too so dex won’t be as embarrassed

they learn a lot of things that evening:

chowder has extremely sensual hips

farmer can spin really well in heels

nursey is really good at the tango

dex can pop a boner just about anywhere

this is another double date they don’t talk about 

but nursey thinks about a lot

they travel down to barnstable, ma for the ghost hunter’s tour for halloween their senior year

they all manage to finish it but nursey almost has to duck out before the jailhouse at the end

he only goes in after dex promises to stand behind him the whole time with his arms around his waist because “this way nothing can sneak up behind you derek, it’s like having your back to the wall” “yeah if the wall if tall and muscular and hot” “i’m sorry i thought you were scared do you not need me to hold you” “no yes i’m very scared please hold me forever oh my god”

farmer is a rollercoaster enthusiast and drags them to six flags new england o f t e n

nursey’s favourite coaster is wooden cyclone bc he loves the whole wooden supports thing and the sounds they make and he’s not the biggest fan of heights so he likes that it’s very twisty

dex however loves tall rollercoasters so his fav is superman (nursey only goes on it w him the first time they go, after that they establish a pact that yes they love each other but it’s not worth dragging nursey onto a rollercoaster that’s going to give him a panic attack, ever)

farmer’s go to is mind eraser. she is immediately drawn to any inverted coaster bc she loves to feel like she’s flying completely unsupported

chowder loves pandemonium - actually he loves riding pandemonium at night bc it’s all lit up! and it’s different every time!! and it’s so fun!! and yeah okay you spin a lot and wow farmer you don’t look too good do you need to sit dow-okay you threw up cool do you want some water? 

they tried cinema double dates but they’re both those couples that pick shitty movies and then go and make out in the back row so the only time they go together it kinda becomes a competition to see who can hold out on making out with their partner the longest like some weird celibate game of chicken and in the end they decide it’s probably best if they go to the cinema as separate couples

they hang out at the beach/pond together a lot

farmer likes to go all out and wear a bikini and shorts, lie on a towel with a floppy hat and a book

this rubs off on the rest of them and soon they’re the weirdos in the swim gear by the university lake sunning themselves in mid april

it gets so bad that one time nursey and chowder bring a bucket and spade and try to make a sandcastle out of mud

okay i’m out of ideas but feel free to add more

[jewelsofwisdom]

Third Conditionals or The Power of Sunflowers

They call it the Third Conditional.

In an effort to simply all the permutations of calendar times and verbal tenses that buzz around in the head of poor, confused speakers of English as a second language whenever the word “if” inserts any uncertainty into discourse, some unknown grammar whiz invented a model. And they numbered these things they call “If Clauses” or “Conditionals”.

Conditional 1 deals with real, future conditions. Example:  If the King is murdered, the monarchy will fall. If the monarchy falls, we will want to rename the streets that are named after minor aristocratic figures. If we run out of republican heroes (I mean, after all you can’t name parks after the two crazy men who not only killed the King and his 20 year old son but just barely missed killed the 19 year old as well), we might have to raise up some rags to riches success story and slap his name onto something. So was born the Parque Silva Porto. But I get ahead of myself.

Image: Amadeu Escórcio

The Second Conditional is the easiest to understand the need for. It’s the Big Lottery Win Conditional. Present situations that are impossible:  I were a boy, I would(n’t)… or highly unexpected future ones: If I became a boy, I would(n’t)… Oh wow.  The Transgendered Age has served me up fitting examples.  

This is all just to say, though, that there is then a Conditional III. It takes an erstwhile event, imagines changing the past and then thinks of all the possible (or just one if you’re not greedy) alternate consequences. If Donald Trump had not won, I would(n’t)…Oh...More correct and still grammatically, I might have moved back to the U.S. . I mean, I really, really liked Big Stone Gap when I was there last year.

But I’m here, and here is Lisbon, Portugal, BTW. And for some reason I wanted to tell you about my day.  (We’ll get back to the grammatical part later.)

I woke up under a black cloud today. Literally (unusual July weather) and, most importantly, emotionally. Children happily ensconced with their dad for the week-end. Love interests tottering towards disinterest. Friends too busy, or too busy.

My plan for the day, a run followed by finishing off that short story seemed unfeasible. Stupidly I went to check the weather on the iMac and Facebook popped up. Bad words! Last thing I wanted to see was the smiling faces of friends from long ago and far away!

I banged the machine shut and took my loneliness for a walk. Not a bike ride, nor a run. The millstone was much too heavy for that kind of energy. My loneliness preferred to walk. I thought to seek out streets around my apartment that hadn’t met my feet yet. But I also wanted to do a few hills, so I pointed us to the highest ones around, those at the Parque Silva Porto, otherwise known as the Benfica Wood.

My sadness, or an excess of familiarity with the spot, took me straight past the gorgeous wrought iron gates and the 1915 tile work.

Instead, I climbed as quickly as I managed the steep, wooded hill that was donated to the city in 1911, on the condition it would be made into a park. My only stop was to gather eucalyptus leaves, stunned as I was by the beauty of their decay.

My thoughts, though, were on those conditionals. I won’t bore you with the details, but I will tell you they were Thirds:  If I hadn’t fallen in love with Brazil…If things had worked out there… If I hadn’t returned home…If I hadn’t met a Portuguese man back home…If I had finished my PhD…If I had worked at a different school…If I hadn’t gone freelance…

In short, today I gave in to the rare opportunity to rue – not so much the choices I’ve made, but the empty spaces they’ve carved into myself, my heart, my wallet.  

António Carvalho da Silva had been born in a poor section of the city of Porto. Then he, like me, left his home city at an early age. Two years in Paris studying painting, another one in Italy, a few traveling and it was 1879 when he was invited to teach in Lisbon. It was in the capital that he had one of his first paintings bought by the King, made a name for himself, and brought naturalism to Portugal. Then, despite his shy ways, he became a permanent member of the salon the Grupo do Leão named for the beer hall where they met. Silva is the morose figure at the center, surrounded by some of the most famous intellectuals of the day, including painters and poets, cartoonists and ceramicists.

Image: Colombano Bordalo Pinheiro

It was in Lisbon that the painter was tenured to teach landscape painting, that he married, fathered 7 children and then died in 1893 at the age of 43.  We have a clue to at least one of his Third Conditionals. He never went back home to live, yet he incorporated the city’s name into his own and signed his paintings António Silva Porto.

So, how did a painter’s name come to grace a park? I’ve found no connection between him and Benfica. An accident of history, perhaps?

Cue entrance of another Third Conditional.

Changes in regime in Portugal have often led to changes in the names of streets and monuments. That includes parks. Following the Portuguese regicide (1908), when the Republican Revolution (1910) did away with the Monarchy, the place naming authorities had to come up with new, republican heroes. All those friends at the Grupo de Leão had been rabid Republicans. And Mr. Silva was as far from aristocracy as you could get. His mother had been a lace maker, his father a tinker.  So, in 1918, the Park was named for Silva Porto.

Today, my search for novelty led me to exit the top gate of the park, into the Bairro de Cima of Santa Cruz. The Estado Novo, as Salazar’s fascist dictatorship was known, left 1950’s townhouses originally built as social housing. They are now gentrifying into posh dwellings.

Image: Manuel Correia

I wandered into the next town, Amadora and only stopped when I arrived at the train line. Next I circled around the Fófó (Clube Futebol de Benfica, not to be confused with world famous SLB).

Then I turned my meander towards home. Before I even saw it, the hawking of the bookseller announced I was approaching the Benfica Market. The exercise and the exercise of my tears having lightened my spirits, I stopped to check the price of the sunflowers. Too expensive. If I’d bought them, my wallet would have been left empty.

Image: Camara Municipal de Lisboa

Instead I headed directly across the massive circle of reinforced concrete, one of the last local buildings of the Estado Novo.  A slight veer to the right and I left the cacophony of fishmongers, fruit and vegetable sellers, and butchers behind. Outside I found another, more affordable florist. Instead of 5€ for one blossom I got a bunch for 2.50€.  Five magnificent bursts of yellow filled my heart and my arms for the climb back home.

In case the picture doesn’t do justice to the flowers, let me tell you I was stopped twice on my way back uphill, by perfect strangers, to admire the exuberance of the blooms. I laughed at myself and wondered if those ladies assumed I was perfectly happy, as I had done that morning about my Facebook friends of long ago and far away.

I got home, put my flowers in water and mused:  If I had remembered to give some given one of those blossoms away, I might’ve made a new friend. I might have forged some powerful alternative consequences.

On the other hand, here’s what I could have done, if I hadn’t chosen to idle around so close to home:

Image: António Silva Porto

[marcinthelotus]

On PewDieGate

I just need to get this out and I swear it’s going to be my last post. And it’s going to be hella long so I don’t care if no one reads it tbh.

But I am really irritated about hypocrisy going on (especially concerning jacksepticeye’s video) with all the reactions, support, condemnation, outrage, and general discourse.

Like summarizing the far “sides” of the scandal:

There’s the for lack of a better term anti-Pewdiepie side calling for accountability, apologies, consequences.

And there’s the pro-Pewdiepie side talking about protecting comedy, freedom of speech, and condemning misframing/unethical practices in the media.

And some in between.

So, the issue with what Felix (Pewdiepie) did was make the antisemitic jokes. (the “Death To All Jews” sign, “Hitler did nothing wrong” commissions (which I’m still unclear if he actually commissioned), the “it’s a little bit ironic that Jews somehow found another way to fuck over Jesus” comment about fiverr Jesus getting banned. etc.) And his subsequent defenses, half apologies, etc. before his full apology video. And then him having a history with making insensitive jokes.

The outrage towards the mainstream media, mainly The Wall Street journal, was some context issues, misattribution, misframing, twisting words, some lies, and the process the WSJ went about with investigating/reporting the story. And this is something that gets brought up every time a public figure gets bad press over something controversial they do. I can’t reference much since I can’t get to the WSJ article anymore but I saw a bit of this, not as much as some have been saying, but enough that when I was initially reading it that I was cringing.

The thing that has bothered me the most about the discourse over this is how instead of having two separate discussions about Felix’s jokes and offensive humor/dark humor in general and it’s impact and then issues with some bad journalism trends it became reduced down to “Were the jokes bad? or is mainstream media unethical and out to get “new media” “influencers” and public figures.” Thus... the current “sides”. Which... is a pretty common sort of cycle anymore.

So on the anti-Pewdiepie side of things there’s a pretty big spectrum of people saying simply that what he did was ignorant and wrong up to that he’s an actual Nazi and fascist. The latter bit I think is a bit much and I’ve already explained why in other posts.

There have been a lot of calls for accountability and content over him losing big contracts with Disney and YouTube. The calls for accountability to call him out and condemn his actions extended to his friends and fellow YTers including Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Cinnamontoastken, Lordminion777, and others who tweeted Felix support after his latest apology video. (this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwk1DogcPmU)

On the other “side” there’s a bunch of folks, headed by mainly YouTubers, decrying the media and it’s use of “strong labels” like racist and antisemite as well as condemning media for twisting words and being a bit of an echochamber without checking Felix’s videos to see what was referenced in context to check validity. And then there’s the “anything can be joked about” debate and the “it’s just a joke, there are more pressing issues in the world.” comments.

So seeing as I’m a jacksepticeye stan, I’m going to use his video and the backlash and ill support for it to illustrate what is going so god damned wrong.

First off the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLE_za2YWsQ

Seán’s pretty firm in condemning Felix’s jokes and criticizes the way he handled apologizing. But he says he still supports his friend. He states that he’s adding onto what others have said and he didn’t want to focus on the media issues (though he does lightly criticize the WSJ). He focuses instead on what was wrong with the jokes in or out of context, how they have impact, and why they’re especially bad in the current climate with rising antisemitism.

At first he got quite a bit of support from his fans. I personally found it to be by far the best video I had seen on the subject, though I didn’t think it was perfect.

Then twitter exploded with outrage from KEEMSTAR, Andy Milonakis and others about how Seán was a backstabber and supported the mainstream media and was threatening comedy. Response videos (headed by keemstar) started popping up about how his video was made to cover his own ass and for attention, how he was horrible for “betraying” his friend who “made him”, how he was selfish and was only mad that YouTube cancelled Felix’s show which he was part of but wasn’t mad at Disney, etc. etc.

Anyways this has gone on for 2 days now. Here’s some “jacksepticeye” search results from youtube I pulled from earlier today:

The “secretly evil persona one” isn’t part of it, it just fell in between others in the screencap.

So he posted an addendum on tumblr http://therealjacksepticeye.tumblr.com/post/157418913013/a-follow-up

As this is going on there is only a trickle of support that comes in from other YouTubers. A trickle. And mostly the next morning after he tweeted this:

So what I find... really frustrating. Is that almost the entire argument on the anti mainstream media side of this is the mainstream media twists words, tells lies, pressures people to apologize over things “they shouldn’t apologize for”, repeat each other uncritically, use unnecessary strong labels, don’t respect free speech/opinions, and make targeted malicious “hits”.

Yet... it’s ok to do this to “your own”? So many “new media” content creators jumped in right away to support Felix and defend him from the WSJ when he makes bad antisemitic jokes, but barely anyone jumps in to defend Seán when the onslaught of sensationalism and “hits” is coming from within YouTube and Twitter (which are also media btw). Didn’t even see a comment from Felix until later today in which he states that he found things in Seán’s video unnecessary but they’re friends and can disagree and are cool with each other so people needed to stop defending him. And that comment is buried somewhere on Seán’s video and not on twitter where the outrage built up from.

And I’m not letting my “side” on this off so easily either. People called out strongly for accountability from Felix’s friends. Seán and Ken (cinnamontoastken) delivered. They may not have been 100% perfect but they both firmly condemned the jokes, recognized that the whole media debate was obscuring the core issue of antisemitism and it’s impact on the Jewish community, and agreed that Felix’s consequences were expected and made sense.

Yet the only post I’ve seen referencing their videos is this one:

It’s been deleted but is still crossing my dashboard. Not a big fan of Ken’s thumbnail but anyways...

If we call for accountability why are we not supporting people who make gutsy videos condemning actions of their friends and condemning the harmful trends in their community? Because we’re just that sure that no one ever will? I’m not saying that neither of them can be criticized, I still criticized some of the stuff in both of their videos. I’m not saying they need to be endlessly praised either.

But calling for them to be accountable and then either passing this around without watching the videos or discrediting the good parts because they weren’t perfect is really not helpful.

And now Seán’s apparently bowing out of social media for a bit. He’s usually very active and on Tumblr and Twitter a lot. And worse, he’s been commenting on those outrage videos apologizing. He thinks he really messed up and is doubting most everything he said in it. Which... really troubles me because it was one of the most balanced and well thought out videos/thoughts I’ve seen on it.

I’m glad a lot of fans in his community are showing support but the lack of public support I’ve seen from outside his fanbase is really disappointing.

[idol-daydreams]

Re: your recent post, I feel the exact same way. As a bi trans man, I already had a lot of internalized homophobia, but even as I struggled to get rid of that, I began to think that since I'm male, it's wrong to like women in the way I also like men. The concept that all m/f relationships are bad here on tumblr has only hindered me deeper. It wasn't until very recently that I unfollowed some people that spoke that way and began to feel more at peace with myself, and hope that others can too.

The homophobia aspect of it is something I dealt with too, but hadn’t really noticed much until I started transition. I grew up a very homophobic household.  I distinctly remember my mom being hostile about women coming out to her, because she thought it automatically meant they wanted her. Combine that with us watching a shitty TV movie about a lesbian couple and her going, “EW EW EW” like a child when they kissed, well, you get the picture.I told her to grow up in that moment, btw.

So I already had this idea in my head that any advance I made toward a relationship with a woman would be unwanted. That it would be predatory. Now that I know I’m a man and I’ve made the necessary changes in feeling comfortable as one, I have first-hand knowledge of the power structures in place. I’m frankly disgusted by it, and I hate the control I could potentially have over anyone. It just reinforces those old feelings.Plus my fair few run-ins with biphobia both online and off.

I’ve unfollowed everyone who is the least bit exclusionary, but it still pops up on occasion in discourse posts and even reading it is draining. It’s why I don’t get into many discussions on my main blog. I don’t have the mental or emotional energy for them. More so than my internalized shame, I hate that my inclusion in a community that’s supposed to protect me hinges on how gay I am. Granted, I’m pretty gay. But I shouldn’t have to prove that.

[colorisbyshe]

istg I'm not joking, but in the year of our lord 2018 I found ace discourse on my dashboard and (after purging my follow list of whoever is still smoking that kushie) the first thought that crossed my mind istg was: jfc makoto (live the legacy of your previous icon btw) has, like, a masterpost on this shit, stop it. THIS IS YOUR LEGACY. I'M SORRY.

it’s fine. apparently my legacy lives on in a lot of ways--a lot of inclusionists say that every blog they don’t like must be me on a new and mysterious sideblog ahdjkghsg

and every day I get 20-100 notes on old ace discourse posts and it’s just like... please I’m trying to be a aesthetics blog that dabbles in politics!!

to be fair, i dID recently hve an Ace Discourse idea pop in my head and it’s a point I never made when in the thick of it but you know what? now that post is never gonna get made because it’s not worth it. i’m trying to move on!